The Social Media Paradox

Fri, Dec 21, 2007

“Doctor, I have 37 fans, 420 friends, 8 stalkers, 13 followers and 27 admirers… So, why am I so lonely?”

Social media is redefining the meaning of “friendship” and leaving millions who are craving for connection starving for more.

Welcome to the social media paradox.

For example…

Here’s a recent email I got after signing up to Mixx.com recently:

Subject: Someone likes you over at Mixx

xxxx1199 thinks you are a really cool person who knows your way around the web. Check
out your new friend’s profile:
http://www.mixx.com/users/xxxx1199

Sounds like a potentially new “friend”, right? So, although I know the game I still couldn’t help but browse over to xxxx1199 (name changed to spare the innocent) and, wow, this guy has a zillion friends! So much for our blossoming friendship, how could he possibly have time..gees, with all the friends he has already.

OK, that’s a bit of an exaggeration but it illustrates the point. A “friend” in the social media sphere is not a friend.

I’m Serious

Some may think I am making a big deal..trying to be controversial or stirring up a semantic debate.

But no, let me assure you, I am serious.

Primarily because I see this “fake friend” mindset brought on by the mind-numbing proliferation of social media infecting an entire generation of young people.

Obviously, there are millions who have a desire for community building, for being part of a team, for getting input from a group or sharing an affinity for something they like. This desire is as old as humanity. Until the advent of social media, the way to participate was usually face to face, hand to hand and, sometimes, heart to heart.

Today, you could join hundreds of social media communities without leaving the coffee shop.

The paradox is, although it is easier than ever to be a part of a personal community, once you do so you’ll never hear the sound of another person voice, the touch of their hand or feel the emotion in their heart.

Sidenote: But…you may get an email assuring you that you are a “really cool person”.

A Challenge

This is an important subject, especially to social media marketers, because we have a choice:

Do we contribute to this fake friend revolution or do we genuinely participate?

So, my challenge to you is the following:

Don’t collect friends like baseball cards.

Reply to your friends, fans, admirers and followers…get to know them…listen…heck, give them a call.

Don’t post thoughtless comments for the sake of a backlink.

Offer to do guest articles for each other, or otherwise increase the dialogue.

Create a Squidoo or Hubpages site and promote it for a mutual charity.

Don’t brown nose but compliment aspects of each others site or content that you like.

In short… Give more than you are giving now.

I promise to take my own advice and perhaps, with our collective effort, we can chart a better course for social media and create genuine, lasting friendships in the process.

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